Who do you need God to Be?

When I say “God,” what image pops into your head? Whatever image you carry in your head, no matter how holy and biblically-based, is not God.  The Divine Source, who is mystery, is bigger than any idea any of us might have of God. All images are woefully insufficient but as humans, we rely on images to understand and contain what we believe to be true about God. However, to insist that any one image of God is the “true” image, to the exclusion of any other image, is idolatry: the worship of something that is not God.

What is your image of God? When I accompany people in spiritual direction, we start with an awareness of how they imagine God. This is a critical starting point because how we perceive God directly influences how we see the world. Your image of God probably has changed since you were a child. Is it time for another update?

My image of God has been under construction for quite some time. While reading through the Psalms, I was struck by how much King David needed a mighty warrior-like God to help him battle his enemies and win victories. Those psalms that asked for God to pulverize the king’s enemies did not resonate with me because I don’t need a mighty warrior God. I need an image of God that is compassionate and merciful, and eager to surround me in a loving embrace. 

I have been searching for an image of a feminine version of the Divine Source for a while, beginning with my series of paintings that reimagine Mary. add link  In those paintings, I wondered at the divinity of the figures I was painting, each woman with a halo to represent the divinity within. Was Mary divine? Was Mary of Lourdes? Mary of Fatima? Our Lady of Guadalupe?

  • Could it be that Divine Source exists beyond gender? Of course!

  • Could it be that Divine Source exists beyond our labels? To think otherwise is presumptuous and idolatrous.

For me, the label “God” was limiting because it always brought to my mind a white male God, the ‘God the Father’ of the Catholic Church. That label feels oppressive because of all the baggage that goes with it.

I have read and believe that the Divine Source will come to me dressed in a manner that I can best receive and believe. The Divine Source wants to connect with me so much that she will be whoever I need her to be, and will show up however I can best accept and trust. If that’s true, can the Divine Source appear to me in the form of the Goddess/Saint Brigid? Why not?

In the words of Mael Brigde, “Why must we seek to tap the cards in one neat deck?  Let us throw them to the sun to fall wherever they will.”  [from A Brigid of Ireland Devotional Sun Among the Stars, by Mael Brigde]

The idea of throwing the cards to the sun and letting them fall where they will is incredibly joy-filled compared to the incessant stacking of the cards and keeping them in order. It feels scary and heretical to consider worshiping the Divine Source clothed in the costume and lore of Brigid but it also feels comforting, like I belong here. It feels like I have entered a sanctuary, a safe place to deepen my relationship with the Divine Source dressed as Brigid.

Why Brigid?

I began learning about Brigid in preparation for the Gathering of Celtic Spirits for this season of Imbolc. I knew very little about Brigid but soon discovered her as Goddess mixed with Saint.

I discovered Brigid as healer through her Holy Wells of living water bubbling up from the earth.

I discovered Brigid as smith, inviting me to explore creative expression in any medium because it brings joy and play back into my life.

I discovered Brigid as poet, urging me to craft written word, and my own life, with poetic precision, painting a description of imagery from the imaginal realm that evokes healing, solace and sanctuary. I remove words and beliefs that distract from the poetry of my life. I add words and beliefs that are nourish my soul.

Brigid’s element of fire invites me to transform my understanding of Divine Source. I have grown uncomfortable with the idea of God as male. I have withdrawn my consent from external patriarchal control of my mind and my behavior.  The more I read about Brigid, the more she seemed to align with the divine feminine image that I have been searching for, and she acts much like Jesus acted, feeding the hunger and healing the sick.

Here’s another question for you: What feelings or thoughts come up for you when I say “God is a black woman?” I just finished reading Christena Cleveland’s new book called God is a Black Woman. I laughed, I cried, I was challenged, and I was liberated, too. I highly recommend it to you!  Cleveland is a social psychologist and theologian with a traditional religious upbringing that was based on a patriarchal hierarchy that portrays the Divine source as white and male. Just like me. 

The God image I was given as a child is vastly different from the image of the Divine who has been showing up in my life recently. The image of God as an old bearded man in the sky ready to smite me with lightning bolts was designed to control me, not to engender a loving relationship. From the very beginning of my studies for my Master’s degree in Theology, I came to believe that this image of God is downright oppressive, especially for women. Although I do not suffer from the oppression of racism, sexism is alive and well in society and in the church of my upbringing.

Finding Permission

My soul was hungry for the language in Cleveland’s book that gave me permission to deal with the disconnect between these images, and allowed me to break up with the old masculine patriarchal image of a “whitemalegod,” to use Cleveland’s label. With much trepidation and tentativeness, I am learning to embrace an image of the Divine that is soul-nourishing and life-giving, an image that makes me feel powerful and valued, an image that includes me.

Black Madonnas

Cleveland takes us on a walking journey through southern France to meet many Black Madonnas tucked away in hidden nooks and small chapels.  She came up with delightful names for each representation of the Sacred Black Feminine that she discovered, names that reflected their gift for untying specific knots of white patriarchy. My favorite is Our Lady of the Side Eye – one who cares deeply about the flourishing of all humans and is not about to put up with anybody’s shenanigans.

Discovering the Sacred Black Feminine

With each new encounter of the Sacred Black Feminine in the form of a Black Madonna, Cleveland introduces the reader to a version of the Divine Source who loves us in the mess of our humanness. Under the gaze of the whitemalegod, we are valued only to the extent that we attain perfection, a sisyphean struggle. In the embrace of the Sacred Black Feminine, there is room for us all. Cleveland tells us “that those at the bottom of the hierarchy in American society are made just as much in the image of God as those at the top.” See Alicia Pender Stanley’s review in the National Catholic Reporter.

There is so much I loved about this book, and there were parts that challenged me as a white woman who benefits from systems of racial oppression. There is still much work to do to dismantle all systems of oppression, and there is a path forward. Cleveland invites each of us to define God in a way that resonates, and encourages us to forge our own unique paths to the divine.

This journey forward will require you to discover what is truest for you.  “Rather than allowing the white patriarchal establishment to dictate what is true, [you will need to rely on your] own embodied wisdom,” page 58. What is truest for you?  For me, the Divine Source looks a lot like Brigid. For Cleveland, the Divine Source looks like a Black Madonna.

Who do you need God to be in order to ensure your fullest flourishing?

It is time to reimagine who God is for you?