Deconstruction Last Step: Reconstruction, Renewal, and Rebirth
I am back with the fourth step on the path of deconstruction:
It's reconstruction.
Or renewal.
Or rebirth.
I recently found a very helpful group, the Sophia Society, with some great resources, including a free downloadable ebook called “Faith Deconstruction 101" (see link below). Their description of deconstruction as part of a cycle of spiritual renewal contains a measure of hope on this path:
“Deconstruction is not and should not be destruction. Rather than being a slippery slope toward the death of faith, deconstruction is actually part of the cycle of spiritual renewal. And this cycle, like the cycle of the seasons, requires the death of the old before something better can germinate, take root, and grow in its place.”
Once you have gone through the winter of this “cycle of spiritual renewal,” allowing unhelpful teachings and beliefs to die off, then it's time to plan for spring, which is just around the corner. You will need all that newly cleared out space for whatever you and God are birthing anew!
The Sophia Society warns that “the whole process—awakening, questioning, deconstructing, reconstructing, setting boundaries, potentially having conflict with those who don’t understand—is emotionally, spiritually, and even physically exhausting.”
Here are my suggestions as you proceed on this journey:
Be gentle with yourself. Let go of expectations that you should be in any place other than where you are at this moment.
Allow yourself to be a beginner. Have an open mind about what is possible, what is nurturing, what is true, even if that is wildly different from anything you have experienced before. God is planning something brand new for you!
Get comfortable with uncertainty, paradox, and tension, but expect your ego to throw a huge fit!
Spend some quiet time regularly to reflect on your journey and express your feelings and your thoughts — writing them down on a journal page or drawing them out in a sketchbook. Bring them into the light of day so that you can gain some clarity.
Avoid judging either yourself for leaving or others for staying put. God has invited you on a different journey. God has not called them. Yet.
Take yourself for a walk outside. All that nature is good for you but you already know that!
Rest. Take your time. This is not a race. There are no prizes awarded to the one who finishes first! You may never “finish” (whatever that looks like) because you always want to be growing, questioning, exploring, and expanding your understanding of how to dance with the Divine. Remember: the “answer” is not in the next book or the next podcast; the answer is deep inside of you. Rest.
Trust your inner wisdom - your body knows. God communicates with you through your intuition. Pause and allow for the wisdom of your intuition to bubble up into your conscious awareness.
RESOURCES
Here are some fabulous resources:
I presided at Mass with the Community of St. Hildegard in Fairport Harbor, Ohio last Sunday and my homily about unchaining the word of God applies here.
Sophia Society is full of helpful resources aimed primarily to the “exvangelical” community; the path of deconstruction is very similar. Check them out at: https://www.sophiasociety.org/
Download the Sophia Society’s Faith Deconstruction 101 ebook here: https://www.sophiasociety.org/ebook
Listen to these Podcasts:
Holy Heretics: Losing Religion and Finding Jesus (produced by the Sophia Society)
My final suggestion: Find out what brings you joy and do more of that!
Miss the previous posts in this series on Deconstruction? Here they are:
Still got questions?
You can reach out for help! Schedule a time to talk with me one-with-one about the process of spiritual direction, if that sounds intriguing to you. I’ve given up handing out answers, but I can help you discern the answers that are truest for you.
We are creating a circle of women who are remodeling their relationship with God, with religion, and with themselves.
If you are interested in being in community, in creating a sacred space to explore, question, laugh and grow, you might want to join our Wise Souls Circle. We meet virtually once a month for a season to journal, share, and discuss questions that are on our hearts. Once we begin a new season, we close the circle to build trust. Our current season runs from January to May. We will open up the circle for a few meetings in the summer and then begin a new season in September.
If you are interested in joining us when we reopen the circle, you are most welcome to add your name and email address in the form below and I will make sure that you are the first to know when the circle reopens!